December fun

The girls were so excited to see Santa this year. We visited him at Cablelas and of course both girls asked him for LOL dolls this year. 

Did you say Chocolate??? Brynnley can't live without it and has recently discovered my Dove chocolates which she loves. 

                                                       Shopping with Grandma Susie

While I was in the hospital recovering from surgery, the girls were lucky enough to go with their cousins and Uncle Sterling and Aunt Amanda to Zoo lights.

Christmas in Color is another fun family tradition each December.

                                       Aubrie loves 1st grade and is meeting all her reading goals.

Stupid Cancer Returns but Will NOT win!

Since November 1^st I started to get a lot of abdominal pain that continued to get worse throughout the month. I was even really focusing on eating clean at the time and to prepare to be strong through the holidays. I started getting sudden spasms in my bowels that were sharp and severe. I noticed that the pain kept getting worse and noticed that every time I ate the spasms would be more severe.  Finally on Thanksgiving at my parents I decided I would just a small amount of food and by the middle of the night I was in agony. I was in severe pain and couldn’t move and was seriously considering going to the ER because of the pain. 

After that I decided that I would only do liquids and drank lots of green juice and water. The pain kind of decreased but was still there. Pepto was the only thing that took the edge off the pain. I even got so desperate for rest that I took Ativan a few nights to knock me out which did help.  I researched more to find out what could possibly going on since my last CT scan showed a slight increase in tumor size on the ascending colon. I ran into dx such as IBS which was the closest thing that my symptoms matched. I soon learned about changing what I ate to follow a Low FODMAP diet. This was very restricting but if I stuck to it for a good week, my pains were not as severe. I finally got so tired of the pain that I contacted both oncologists for help. Another repeat CT scan was done at the end of November with nothing new found. Early December, Dr. Zempolich wanted to rule out any upper GI problems and so I had an endoscopy. The only thing I was dx with was Baretts Esophogus which is basically GERD and had a lot of bleeding in my esophagus. But that didn’t explain the lower GI pain I have still been experiencing. Dr. Zempolich suggested that this is the best time to go in and do an exploratory abdominal surgery to see what was going on and to do a bowel resection where I had a visible tumor. I was not expecting her to say that I would be having surgery next week on December 12. 

  This was not expected as I feel like I am just recovered from the one I had in April. I have worked my butt off to return to the gym and regain the strength, endurance and health to continue to take care of me.  I have struggled the past 4 1/2 years  while being on oral chemo daily, having chemo injections in my hips every few weeks, working to build up my practice of hand therapy, being a supportive and loving mom and spending every ounce of extra energy to go to the gym to re-build my strength and core. 

I went in for a planned exploratory abdominal surgery to remove a small tumor on my bowel on Dec 12^th. My normal 6-10 hour surgery ended unexpectedly at little over 2 hours. Dr. Zempolich opened me up with a vertical incision from chest to pelvis (for the 6^th time) and quickly found that my abdomen was coated in thousands of cancerous tumors. There was too much cancer to even remove at the time of surgery. My doctor told me that I should go home and enjoy what will most likely be my last Christmas. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days and returned to my parent’s house for them to take care of me.

While in the hospital I spoke with Dr. Werner regarding her thoughts and the next steps to take. We discussed HIPEC chemo but results have been seen only in high grade cancer. The better option was to start chemotherapy again with a new medication Doxil, given the nick name of “The Red Devil” along with carboplatin.  I am starting this chemo on the 30^th of December and nervous to go through this again. Last time I had chemo, it took my very close to my death bed and knowing that this process will be challenging again.  I am so grateful to have met with Huntsman’s palliative care program yesterday. This gives me confidence and introduced me to a new support team to aide me in getting through the continued pain and struggle of day to day functions that this return of cancer has caused. 

 Pre Surgery: 

I returned to my own home after 3 days being at my parents. In the middle of the night I woke up with the most peaceful feeling and amazement of how quick my incision was healing. It had only been 1 week after surgery and my incision was almost entirely healed and I could even lay on my stomach. I know without a doubt that the many prayers said on my behalf have helped me to heal this quickly. Unfortunately, Thursday night (1 week since surgery), I began to start having the abdominal spasms and growling stomach. I forgot how nice it felt to just have surgical pain. Now I know that this bowel pain is from all the cancer inside my abdomen and bowels holding the tissues tightly wrapped around my insides which is causing all the pain. I am still trying to figure out if certain foods cause more pain. It is so frustrating after not being able to eat since November and then right after surgery being restricted to a soft foods diet. I have only been able to tolerate rice, malt-o-meal, eggs, and my protein shake prior to the pain returning. The only thing I ate the day the pain started up again was egg drop soup and lo mein noodles and rice. It is frustrating to be hungry, yet so afraid to eat because of the pain I know I experience, even with increasing my dosage of cramping medicine.

Turkey Time Fun

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

All day on Thanksgiving it snowed and snowed and snowed and the kids enjoyed building a snowman and sledding down the hills at the park.

Aubrie lost her 3rd tooth this month too!

The girls enjoyed having swimming lessons each Saturday and are gaining more confidence every day.

                                         Aubrie and her friend Alivia matching at school

Halloween and Park City

This Fall I was hoping to have a few of our own pumpkins from the garden to have out/carve for Halloween, but unfortunately the crazy hot/cold weather we have didn't help and we didn't even get one this year. Grandma Susie gave us one of the only pumpkins she grew this year! It was so cute and tiny I had to compare it to Brynnley's little hand. 

For Grandpa Matt's birthday, we were invited to stay the night at a timeshare in Park City at the Marriott. The girls loved spending time with Grandma Susie and Papa Matt and went swimming and had a fun Halloween/birthday party. The next day we woke up to a few inches of snow! 

This year for Halloween, Brynnley wanted to paint her pumpkin and Aubrie wanted to carve one with the Toy Story 4 character, Forky.

The girls got to dress up for their classes on Halloween and loved having fun in their class parties and parades.

Aubrie's school had their Halloween parade outside in the morning. Luckily it was my late day so I could go to see her. It was so freezing cold and in the 20's that morning but worth seeing my cute happy girl!

Due to the weather being so cold, the girls wore different costumes at night for trick-or-treating. I was lucky enough to be feeling good and took them out for the first hour and then they continued another hour with Jeff.

Trick or Treating with friends Allie and Ezra Bush

This year our theme at work was Peter Pan. I was Wendy which was a pretty easy costume!

October Cancer Update

August

September

October

CT scan Friday October 11:

CT scan results: 

October 11th:

Mesenterey/Peritoneum: There is increased right lower quadrant peritoneal thickening and associated mass in the right paracolic gutter is increased from 2.4 to 3.3 cm. There is unchanged periotoneal thickening adjacent to the rectosigmoid surgical sutures. Resolved left anterior fluid collection.

After meeting with Dr. Werner to follow up on my CT scan we received not so great news. Dr. Werner said she is concerned with what she sees given that I have been on the new medication, Fulvestrant since my previous scan in July. The increased size of the mass (which is on the right ascending colon) has changed in size as follows:

March scan: 2.9 x 3.2 cm   

I then had surgery in April to remove this spot

July scan: 2.4 x 1.7 cm

October scan: 2.0 x 1.8 cm

At this time, Dr. Werner feels the mass is stable/a little larger and wants me to continue on the same medications for the next 3 months until my next scan in January. I am feeling a little disappointed that I had another huge surgery to remove this tumor which is already growing back this fast!!! It is crazy to me that this tumor has the same genetic mutation as the other tumors but isn't responding to my treatment. 

I met with Dr. Zempolich on the 24th of October to review my CT and have her look into severe and sharp pain in my right pubis area. Dr. Z feels the increased size of the tumor on the scan is definitely not scar tissue as we thought it might be because it has increased in all dimensions. The options at this point would be: 1. Consider another surgery which would include removal of the part of bowel with this tumor (bowel resection) or 2. Possibly consider looking into Radiation of this spot if I am a candidate. The terrible sharp pain that I have been experiencing in my pelvis was diagnosed as a muscle tear in my Rectus Abdominis muscle where it attaches to the pubic bone. I have no idea how it happend other than lifting and carrying Brynnley around that previous weekend. 

I was going to start taking low dose Naltrexone at this time as it has been recommended to me a few times by Naturopathic doctors, but every time I go to put it in my medication box, I don't feel good about it. As hard as it is, I am trusting the feeling I have to not take it. 

The side effects from the new medication injection I get every month, Fulvestrant, are really starting to kick in. I have gained at least 10# since starting this medication and almost within an hour of getting the shot, I start to feel extremely bloated. It is so frustrating to me when I have been working so hard to stay active, despite being exhausted every day and to eat clean when the weight just keeps adding on. I started to feel fat rolls below my bra line form and am devastated!  I have really been trying to decrease the amount of soda I have per week, which is tough since I need the caffeine to work,  and to choose good foods over treats and sugary foods as well as exercise at least 3 times a week. I have started back into the water aerobics class on Tuesday nights which is a nice break from the Monday night cardio/muscle class that is a little more challenging. The week off that I took from exercising due to the pelvic pain I had, really reminded me how much I need exercise in my life to help with stress management. I have also tried to focus on listening to guided meditations at night from "The Honest Guys: on you tube to help relax my body and mind from the stress of the work day. 

The joint pain in my knees and ankles has decreased since switching from Letrozole but at this point I would almost rather have the pain than the weight gain. It makes it that much harder to be motivated to stay healthy in this journey, especially when Jeff doesn't encourage me to eat well.